With that one sentence he demolished her dignity, character and the reputation of her entire family. Summarily accused of having had pre-marital sex, all Mevar's pleas of innocence were ignored by her in-laws and she was ordered to reveal the name of her alleged lover. When she refused, she was beaten up and dragged to a caste panchayat for a public hearing. For, if the man is identified, Mevar's in-laws could rake in lakhs of rupees as penalty from him.
The humiliation and torture that Mevar suffered is almost a part of life for young women of the Sansi community, which is read over several villages of Rajasthan. Irreective of the damage to her character and reputation, a cornered Sansi woman often names just about any man as her alleged lover to escape the torture and get some extra money for her in-laws.
The root of the women's woes, the obnoxious custom of kukari had its birth in troubled times in Rajasthan centuries ago when the state was ravaged by foreign invaders and marauding armies who indulged in mass rape. Even the Rajputs conducted virginity tests for a while. In the lowly Sansi community, it was also meant to ensure boys and girls did not indulge in pre-marital sex. However unlike the Rajputs, among the Sansis the bizarre practice of kukari continues to this day and in fact has degenerated further.
It has today become a tool for influential Sansi families and corrupt caste panchayats to hold a woman guilty of pre-marital sex and then make her "lover" pay for allegedly sleeping with her. With the penalties running into lakhs of rupees, in-laws try to extract "confessions" from the girls.
But Mevar of Arneaneel village of Tonk district failed to oblige and was tortured by her husband and in-laws. "When the torture became unbearable, I took the names youths who came to my mind -- dozens of them," she says, "but they wanted me to name my sister's husband Ram Chander Sansi, a police officer, as my lover and I refused." The gutsy 19-year-old is the only woman of the community to have gathered enough courage to lodge a police complaint, saying she was tortured to admit to a previous affair. Over the past four years, after swearing her innocence before several panchayats and undergoing other humiliating tests to prove her innocence, Mevar has moved 300 km away from her home to Chhabra in Baran district because of threats to her life from her in-laws. "For these people, a virgin bride is a misfortune," she says bitterly.
The less brave, like 18-year-old Shakuntala of Alipura Chhan village in Tonk, gave in to pressure from their in-laws. Declared guilty of pre-marital sex after kukari, Shakuntala promptly named two men as her lovers before the caste panchayat. While one has paid Rs 25,000 to her in-laws, the other has been fined Rs 60,000 for the same offence. With the money in the kitty, Shakuntala is now the darling wife and bahu. It's irrelevant that she privately says she was forced to name these men. Says Gian Singh Sansi, an Alipura Chhan schoolteacher: "Shakuntala oke to me and denied any pre-marital relation. Here, the brides are beaten to make them admit to affairs."
If a woman admits she is guilty and the man she names pays up, the matter ends amicably. Trouble begins when either the bride refuses to cooperate with her in-laws -- as Mevar did -- or the man she names denies the affair. Many men, though innocent, pay up because of pressure from the powerful caste panchayat. It also means the beginning of a fresh ordeal for the woman and another series of "purity" tests. Last year, Mevar had to undergo paani ki dheej or purity through water. "I stayed submerged in water while a neutral person walked 100 steps and returned," she says. She managed to hold her breath and thus proved her innocence. Poor Kunti of Samwar village in Ajmer was not so lucky and, unable to remain underwater for long, was held guilty of pre-marital sex.
Emulating the Ramayana, the Sansi community even has a modern version of the agnipariksha. When she stood accused of having indulged in pre-marital sex after the mandatory kukari, Anita of Deepru village, named Dungar Singh as her lover at a panchayat, but he denied any relationship with her. The 17-year old bride was then made to go through test by fire. Carrying a piece of red-hot iron, weighing about 2 kg, she walked a certain distance. The only thing shielding her palms from getting burnt was a plate of seven betel leaves held together with a thin layer of dough. Like Sita, she did not burn and proved she was not lying. So Dungar Singh was fined Rs 24,000. It's a ploy often used in the community to ensure someone ends up paying. Those whose palms get burnt are held guilty.
The case of Sanjoya, 20, has been lingering for several years now. Married to Ramesh of Arneaneel, who declared her guilty after kukari, she admitted to having pre-marital sex with Chattan Singh of Nasirda. Her aunt Kamla, however, says the girl was tortured to extract money from Chattan who has sworn that he is innocent and refuses to pay. Says Kamla: "We ent Rs 50,000 on her marriage, but now the girl is suffering and also getting a bad name." Chattan, on his part, has refused to pay Rs 60,000 penalty to settle the issue because he is innocent. There are reportedly hundreds of such innocent people trapped in such cases.
That the Sansi tribe has converted an ancient custom into a money-making tool is hardly surprising. The community is notorious for its involvement in violent crime and illicit liquor trade. It suits the rich and powerful in the tribe to encourage kukari and other evils connected with it. Even the credibility of panchayats is being questioned. The poor allege that panchayat members take bribe to decide cases against their daughters and sisters. Says Bhanwar Lal Sansi, a schoolteacher who has sat in over 20 such panchayats: "Some panchayat members take Rs 2,000 as bribe, besides the fees which also runs into a couple of thousands."
Calling a panchayat itself is an expensive affair -- it normally costs Rs 20,00 a sitting. Sanjoya's family has already ent Rs 25,000. Chattan says he has sold six bighas of land because he had to end Rs 1 lakh on calling panchayats. In Mevar's case, a number of panchayats have been called at different places at a cost of Rs 3 lakh to both the sides. But her father-in-law continues to pursue the case as he hopes to get Rs 2.5 lakh if he manages to prove Ram Chander was her lover.
The protracted cases, like those of Mevar and Sanjoya, have become a law and order problem in the district because of frequent clashes between the girl's and the boy's relatives. The police role too is suect. They are charged with favouring the influential Sansis. Mevar's complaint has failed to elicit any action against her in-laws though Ram Chander is a sub-inector. Many times the police does not even register complaints. Tonk refused to eak to the press on the matter. Says Ajmer: "Since kukari threatens to become a law and order problem, it is time the practice was checked."
So far no NGO or women's organisation have tried to build up opinion against the custom. In fact, they didn't even know of the problem. The social work among the Sansis so far has been confined to weaning the tribe away from crime. Says Alice Garg, a Jaipur-based social worker who has worked with the Sansis: "Awareness about the ills of the custom can be created only by involving the entire family, including the father who always has the last word." She proposes to go to the Sansi villages this month to create awareness against kukari and the torture of women.
Administrative apathy notwithstanding, there are heartening rumblings from within the community. Schoolteacher Gian Singh seeks help from NGOs and the state Government to help them get rid of the custom. "There should be a law that bans kukari," he says. Ananda Bai, 70, a relative of Shakuntala who watched helplessly as the girl was humiliated, says, "Money is not everything. Her honour is more important." Mevar says that she would go through any agnipariksha but would not lie. Some women "proved" innocent before the panchayat, have refused to go back to their husbands to teach them a lesson. "I would prefer to die rather than go back to my husband Rakesh," adds Mevar.
Fed up with the custom and the dishonour that follows, some men too have started laying down conditions for the marriage of their daughters and sisters। After his own ordeal, Ram Chander has made it quite clear that there should be no kukari after the marriage of his daughter। Others have put weddings on hold. And though Mevar has given voice to the silent suffering of Sansi women, in a male-dominated society, it's the fathers and brothers who have to take up the fight. For, if their women live with dishonour, it reflects poorly on them.