Shafiq R Khan


Some Countenance on paro or molki women

The ‘paro’ or ‘molki’ themselves are the words which not only make realize the strangeness and the state of being alien but also decide the social status. Where the familial identities of the local women and the molki women are distinguished, there the society defines some special restrictions into which their social condition struggles for the survival. And on one hand this heterogeneous identity separates the molki women from the familial and individual identities, on the other it does not matter how pitiable the condition of the local women is, but in reality their familiar condition can not be challenged and they are availing more rights than as compared to molki women, in every aspect. If we see in the perspective of social conditions, when (if,) any family provides the rights and the recognition to their molki women, even then the society denies and does not recognize her familiar condition. Actually, the cultural societal view declares this whole process odious. In his controversial book ‘Haryana ki Duvidha’, Mr. D. R. Chowdhary writes in the context of molki women, “These unfortunate living beings are totally unaware of the language, customs and ethos here! And they live a very inhuman life. They are only served as the fodder to satisfy the sexual hunger of the males.”
Actually the molki women are the cheaper and long lasting alternative for the sexual needs and their social image is no more than a prostitute.
The women of Haryana possess a traditional image of a total cultivator housewife who is always on the way to home from the fields maintaining a long parda (veil) loading herself with the fodder for the cattle or grain! Or can easily be traced preparing chilum (earthen vessel holding fire on the top of Hubble- bubble) for the hukka (hubble-bubble)! Or directly it can be said that the women of Haryana possess an image of laborious woman! But on the other hand when the traditional image which comes into existence, of the prosperous males of Haryana is – a stout- bodied macho having a tall and wide physic bubbling hukka (hubble-bubble) and possessing bandukdi, jeepadi and botadi (gun, jeep and wine bottle)! But, now the molki women also have been added in this image.
When karewa (sexual relations of more than one males with a single woman), the part of the customs of this region, is being vanishing due to sanscritisation and the custom is becoming the problem in other manner. A control exercised by this sanscritisation of the society on this custom, the molki women evolved as a challenge against this control for the society as an alternative.
The first addressing word comes for these girls imported from the incongruous regions is paro or molki, which itself indicates towards their familiar condition for them. Society actually takes these women as a challenge for the society and caste. And therefore instead of providing respect and rights, it boycotts them. The factors which came into existence during the field work clarify that the families which bring molki, are supposed as lower (in every respect) and of mischievous tendency by the society and denies their eligibility of social respect.
They blaim the lewdness and agents for this importation of girls. Although they put forward the point of scarcity of girls but saying about the families who bring the purchased girls they clearly say that they are socially unrecognised and backward! In this condition the families usually don’t possess the social respect and they have a bad influence over the society. The society supposes the importer families of the molki women resourceless, poor and lewd elements. Here it is remarkable that the prosperous and socially dignified families totally reject the authenticity of this type of marriages. Actually this type of prestigeous families and society the importation or the sale and purchase of molki women is supposed to be a medium of the lewdness of the of the youths. This society of Haryana has gave up so many traditions on the way of sanscritisation. But there are other many traditions which relates to gallentry of thier struggling history and masculine behaviour. Due to this affection there developes a situation of conflict between the new and old generation and the newly rich has given birth to a new form of karewa. These newly rich are came into existence due to the hike in the rate of lands and industrial development of the region and their one and their whole life was aimed at enjoyment so in this situation no wonder if they were taking support of thier traditions for sale and purchase of the girls to satisfy thier sexaul needs. But the elite classes of awakened and the literates wanted to destroy root and branch of these traditions and therefore they were not supporting this new form of karewa. In this condition a social conflict came into existence and therefore the whole matter was left over covered with the help of indefinite logics to avoid the disturbance to the current dynamics of the sanscritisation and condition of clash with the newly rich strong-headed! And then gradually an attempt could be performed to bring a change the conditions. But the whole impact of the above said conditions could be seen on the social status of the girls to be imported. Prior to this they could have some social security howsoever but now the situation has been changed and the responsible citizens started supposing these girls theirselves as the root cause of this problem.
Molki women never become able to get social recognition under all type conditions full of exploitation, even to get the status of a general family member is not an easy job for them. They have to face many types of problems as compared to any type of devotion or commitment, according to the families. The main food item of the most of the regions from where the girls are being brought is rice whereas in Haryana it is served occasionally. Kavita, brought from Maidinipur, tells that is has been an era since she had rice last time and this vegetarian society will not allow her to eat fish, so in this condition only thick chapatis. By making joke of the food habits of this region she said that due to food and clothing in our region, she was married here but nothing has been changed here …………………………………………………………………………
The molki women not only become the victim of the wrath of the social standard- bearers but also the prey of the personal and social anxieties of the local women. No doubt that due to the importation of the molki women the local women has gained the social status and got relieved from the field and cattle work to some extent. It has been that if a molki is brought in a joint family the rest of the women in the family get rid of the domestic or field work. It is not like that this is due to the male of that particular family but due to the social pressure that some of the work is being done by the local women even they have a molki in their family. In this condition the molki girls are helpless to do whole of the field and domestic work all alone, although when they are in some landless’ or afflicted man’s house then they have to do the labourious work for the livelihood of the family as well as the domestic work. But it is very difficult to say that what type of mental shocks they undergo while hearing the taunting and not being able to express their objections always. And due to living in this type of life very often face the blames of absconding.
In the family where they are called wives there itself they are kept away from the valuables with an intension to decrease the chances flying away. No matters how committed and devoted these girls are, but they can not get rid of that suspicious frame of image. Perhaps this is the reason we supposed an average of 10 molki women per village on the other hand is can also supposed that the girls who fled away constitute at least 50% of this as an average.

In the backward welfare decade of 1990 when the backward castes throughout the country were engaged in raising their political and social recognition since then the other castes challenged the Jat community in the arena of politics and social structure. This act of rising affected the not only the socio- economic character but also the cultural and traditional characters.
And as it is the convention there was an attempt of expressing the influence by modifying the traditions of the dominating castes. The same process was applied to the importation of these molki women and the impression of bandukdi, jeepadi and botadi (gun, jeep and bottle of wine) became a sign of impression and proud not only for the males of Jat community but also for the whole Haryana which is a synonym of power. The state of Haryana has a great contribution in defense power of the country. In simple words, the most of the males are in army or police due to which due to which they get the opportunity to travel in the various regions of the country. But every time there is a hold of authority and power upon them and due to historical reasons they are always in a state of self- praise and perhaps this is the reason of the limited roles and rights of the females in this region. There is a plenty of examples in this region in which the girls qualified in the local high education are being married to the army men or to the policemen. Especially when a girl is imported from outside for any objective, in that condition the family and the society are not ready to give her any type of the rights and this is lamented by the argument of their possibility of being fled away.
The importer family of the molki women is basically attached to the agriculture. But this would be inappropriate to say that the economic condition of these families is pitiable, actually except the controversies only the prosperous families and marry them to their agricultural labours. These labours are the local and modern trend of the kamiya system of eastern states so that they could not be taken as bonded labour. After arranging the marriage of molki women with these labours the owners then have an axe to grind and take advantages in many ways.
The second largest class which brings the molki women consists of the lower level cultivators or the small scale cultivators. Because these families are totally dependent upon the agriculture therefore their economic condition is not so good and due to this they are not in a condition of availing the labours for the agricultural purposes resulting in importing of the girls form outside the state. Normally, there are more than one girl in these families who are brought by paying money against them and they serve all the purposes related to agriculture as well as a wife. In most of the cases these molki women use to have sexual relationships with more than one male in the family and this is their helplessness nothing else. This is not like that the so- called husband is not aware of this kind of information about the woman. Actually, in these small scale independent cultivator families most of the molki women serve only as the means of satisfying the sexual needs of the males of the family as well as agricultural labours.
On the other side the girls who live in the families of the truck drivers works as an agent to bring a new girl and their social status is also not good. On the contrary, they are left over by the stated agents in a very limited time and they are not even in a condition of going back to their families in the native region and ultimately they have to adopt prostitution in helplessness. Normally, the families and the society do not recognize these molki women because they always have a fear of the stealth by these women and fly away. Actually, at the origin of this fear there is the notion of inequality among the society against the foreigners and the people outside regions and clearly assumes that these people (the family of molki women), are indulged in the trade of sale and purchase of their own daughters.
The situations clarify that there exist many types of illusions or misconceptions among the people like in the native regions of these girls form where they being imported the people celebrate on the birth of the girls so that they could earn something by selling them and due to this reason also the molki girls are deprived of their family roles.(Continued)
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