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Nanhi : The mourner

Nanhi is Dom, also known as Mirasi, she lives in Narnaund Tehsil of Hisar District of Haryana with her extended family. Dom and Mirasi are almost the same caste excepting their religious beliefs which divide them into Scheduled caste and other backward caste.

Nanhi is a Dom and Hindu but she also has some Muslim relative. The caste traditionally works to entertain and also work as genealogists of local land-lords. Their women often (hired as professional mourners) sing in happy moments and mourn upon instances of death, on behalf of landlords in exchange for food grains to survive. This is their traditional work which they continue to do, for lack of appropriate opportunities for livelihood.

Meanwhile, male members of the family are adopting different kinds of work to earn their livelihood. Nanhi’s husband Suresh is a sewing master and her elder son Sonu (25) is a barber, Deepak (22) is a motor mechanic and her younger son Anwar (21) has just completed his B.Sc and is exploring his career. Nanhi doesn’t have any girl child.

Her younger son has broken tradition by accruing a graduation degree. He alone has graduated as a Dom boy in the village. However local Dom girls do have some education and some of them are also working as teachers in private schools in different areas of Haryana. But it needs to be mentioned that none of the Dom girls are in a Governmental job. Nanhi says not a single Dom man or woman have any kind of government job in this village and even near by village, despite the fact that many girls and boys have a degree. Reservation cannot be actualised without political or social representation and Dom people don’t have any kind of social or political leader except one Sarpanch who won an election in 2005 in a village of Hisar.

Nanhi paid a heavy price for the education of her child, in early months of 2008. Her son was brutally beaten up by Jat (another caste) classmates as he was performing well in the class and becoming a ‘hero’. Nanhi stood up for her child and went to make complaints before the parents of the particular Jat classmate. They considered it a rebellious attitude and the Jat family attacked both Nanhi and her son Anwar. She and her son were stripped, beaten and paraded naked in the village to teach a lesson to all Dalits living in the village, particularly students from the Dalit community. After the incident, she was afraid for the safety and security of her family home as well as women of the family. She didn’t report this case but someone informed the police who then visited her for a statement and arrested a few people.

Soon after, villagers came to her home for arriving at a compromise and the Panchayat decided that if Nanhi would withdraw her statement, only then would the Panchayat allow her family to stay in the village and also protect their interest or else Panchayat would provide no guarantee. The “no guarantee” bit meant that her family would need to leave the village without being allowed to sell their properties and Jat people might do anything to them.

Some elders of the village came forward to convince her father-in-law Nanakchand that this was just a mistake of some hot-blooded young Jats and Nanhi should withdraw her statement. The family had no options left to choose from and the case was dismissed and her family stayed on in the village. The Panchayat allowed Nanhi and the women of the family to not be forced to visit the home of the perpetrators.

All wounds filled with time. After all they were landlords, their source of income. She and her family gradually started attending functions and events in all families. Nanhi and the whole family decided to just forget the horrifying incident and try to make progress which would encourage her children to choose new kinds of profession. Many of her nephews migrated to different states or districts with an aim to focus on development of the family rather than staying engaged in traditional singing and begging before landlords.

Nanhi believes that her decision was not bad as it saved the family from all kinds of trouble. Being a Dalit, she knows her limitation while being engaged in regular visits to landlords' homes during festivals, births, deaths or any other kind of celebration or mourning.

Dom women are allowed to help in daily course of domestic work in their house but for any personal use, they have to carry their own pots and dishes. Even in marriage parties, Dom are not allowed to eat or drink in the same dishes being used for landlords, despite the fact that the same crockery can be hired by a Dalit from crockery house for their functions. It is not actually about untouchability but it's a reinforcement of the hierarchy of landlords where they can’t allow Dom at the same time to have food in the same color of plate they use for eating.

Dom women usually have a good relationship with landlords as well as other community members but Nanhi also acknowledges that they don’t visit Valmikis because they are 'untouchable and eat pig', which is prohibited in their families. So neither Valmikis are allowed in Dom homes nor Doms visit Valmiki. They maintain a respectable distance. But Dom women often share a strong relationship with landlords as well as those from “higher castes" like Brahman Sainis and others. They don’t visit any Dalit community anywhere except Chamars. In some places Chamars have land and Govermental jobs and they often help other Dalits in getting benefits of schemes meant for scheduled castes.

Nanhi also knows the restriction of being a woman in society and in a family. Daughters are not allowed to go for work or to participate in local programs. Only daughters-in-law are allowed to go to work, that too only with consent of the husband. Men usually allow their wives except some men who may be earning well. Domestic violence is prevalent within the community but none are ever reported to the Court of law. Child marriage is also prevalent in the community.

Nanhi has many complaints that none of the Dom people ever got any land from the Government and even Dom women are not getting any pension because of dominant caste who often ignore their claims and they don’t have any vocal voice that can speak on behalf of the community. Dom people often live in less number so their unity and strength is unable to influence any decision. However, the community is trying to make attempts through educating their children but it has started only recently and it may reflect some change after about a decade.

Nanhi’s family doesn’t send their daughters to school after passing 10th class even though the school is in the middle of the village. Nanhi laughs “We don’t want them to 'protect' our daughters. If the school was outside the village, we would be more than happy to send our girls to schools. We strongly believe in our fellow villagers- They would never leave us unharmed."